Its amazing that Russia exists as a country at all. It is so large that its borders span two continents and one sixth of the worlds surface.

Within its borders it of course has hundreds of small micro-cultures, but at the same time it contains a surprisingly cohesive and similar Russian culture.

There are however some very broad distinctions about Russians that I think are very useful for a foreigner to know before visiting or getting to know or dating any Russians.They can be very useful in getting a rough idea of a persons background and beliefs.

These distinctions have been told to me numerous times by Russians, and my own experience certainly backs their existence.

1. The Moscow and St Petersburg Russia

“Moscow isn’t Russia”. People have told me this many times, and it is certainly true. Broadly speaking, Moscow and St Petersburg are cities that are comparable to those in Europe - they are fundamentally similar. A lot of the time Moscow feels to me like being in Berlin.

2. The rest of Russia. The real Russia.

90% of Russians live in other cities, towns and villages and in these you couldn’t really mistake yourself for being in Europe.

3. Soviet Russians

Those born in Russia before or around 1970 have a fundamentally different view of life and of Russia. Growing up in the Soviet era, how could they not?

4. Post-soviet Russians

Those Russians 35 and under are a curious bunch. Comfortably modern and confident, they have an intriguing mix of optimism for the future and old-fashioned Soviet pessimism. With infinitely more opportunity, they expect so much more from life than their parents did yet are reluctant to plan to far ahead, Russias traditional instability ever at the back of their minds.
Nonetheless I expect this generation of young Russians making a big mark on the world this century.

My soon to be mother in law explained to me once ‘Perostroika was a very bad thing. Before it I was an engineer, now I work as a cleaner.’ Fair point, you have to say. My fiance added though ‘Our parents all think like that, us young people see things differently and for us it was a good thing’.

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As a broad generalisation, a typical Russia woman tends to be a lot more traditional than western women in terms of gender roles in the family. i.e. She will expect you to do most or all of the breadwinning and will herself do most or all of the homemaking.

This doesn’t mean for a moment that a Russia woman are meek or expect not to have a career. Like in any country, some women are meek, some not. It is also normal for Russian women to have a career.

One thing that annoys me is when people assume that having more traditional gender roles means Russian women are somehow victims or unenlightened, That if only they could be shown the feminist way they wouldn’t have to put up with it any longer. Try telling that to a Russian woman and you’ll be either scorned or mocked out of the room.

Remember Russian women have for decades been way ahead of the west in a lot of  aspects of feminism. For example the proportion of women to men in fields like medicine and engineering has been (and still is) far higher than in the west. So in many ways equality between men and women is more enshrined in Russia than in the west.

Also as part of my job I visit a lot of different companies here in Russia. In my experience the proportion of women to men in technical and senior roles is far higher than in the west, and far, far higher than in Japan.

Cosmonaut Nadezhda Kuzhelnaya

However a strong part of Russian culture and identity is that men and women are different, and that for a family to be successful there are masculine and feminine roles to play. Russian women are very feminine - more so I think than in the west, and don’t feel they need to prove they are ‘equal’ to men. They know they are already equal - and different.

Be prepared. If your Russian girl is 24 you may think she will be happy to wait a few years before having children. Chances are however she’ll already consider herself past the time when she should have become a wife and mother.

Motherhood and family is incredibly important to any Russia woman, and to be a bride then a  mother at a younger age than is normal in the west.

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Recently Russia did pretty damn well in Euro 2008 (with manager Guus Hiddink, ex manager of Australia).

Where I live in Moscow there are apartment buildings stretching for miles around. When the match finished everyone started cheering like crazy, and the noise went on for hours. Amazing. This short video will give you a taste.

Below is one of the chalets at a retreat 200km from Moscow we stayed in last weekend.

Was on holiday in Ukraine a few weeks ago. Took a cable car to the top of a mountain. One of the attractions allowed you to get your photo taken in a Nazi or Red Army uniform in this car. Completely bizarre and more than a little disturbing.

Saw this a few weeks ago. It just looks so Fallout, I love it.

View from our apartment. Windows very dirty and the scene looks grimmer than it actually is. Lots of shiny shopping centres and interesting restaurants nearby.

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While there’s not as many opportunites for unusual photos as when I was living in Japan, theres still plenty of them. Unfortunately I’ve kinda developed tunnel vision when it comes to photos here - I just forget to take them when a great pic is staring me in the face. Anyway here are some ok ones I did remember to take.

Buran, the Space Shuttle that almost was.

Private Hunting Ranch 1000km from Moscow

Rocket on a stick, Moscow.

Horse milk. Tastes every bit as good as you think.

Russian light lunch.

Tributary of the Volga

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When it comes to Russian women dating, the stereotype is all Russian women are scammers and only want to be dating foreign men for their money?

So goes the generalisation about why Russian women want to be dating foreigners. Obviously this is false. There are so many thousands of success stories that so overwhelm the bad stories. So what motivates a Russian woman to find a man in another country?

The big myth is Russia women are all scammers out to get your money, or that they live a life of abject poverty and are desperate to get out. This isn’t it. In a nutshell, there is a shortage of good quality men in Russia.

Lets have a bit of a closer look.

(a) Demographics. There is a gender imbalance in Russia meaning there are more women than men. Why? I’m not too sure of all the reasons, but Russian men have a comparatively low life expectancy which has at least something to do with it.

(b) Quality. A lot of Russian men take advantage of this gender imbalance to act like dicks. They can get away with acting badly as it is essentially a ’sellers market’ for men. This creates an even smaller pool of available and desirable men.

(c) Stability. Russia has a long history of instability, so stability is very attractive. Thus a decently paid, steady job is very attractive.

What there is a shortage of is intelligent, kind, honest men with good jobs. This doesn’t mean there aren’t any good quality men in Russia. On the contrary, there are of course millions and millions. There just aren’t quite enough of them.

Don’t be mistaken however. Your country (especially a warm climate) and income are attractive to Russian women, and hypergamy (the practice of selecting a spouse of higher socio-economic status than oneself) is prevalent everywhere in the world.

So these are factors. But in themselves they wouldn’t be enough for such large numbers of Russian women to be eager for a foreign husband. It is the reasons above which tip them over into wanting a foreign husband.

There are some scammers - maybe 1%. But they are very easy to spot so aren’t a big concern.

For the great majority of Russian women interested in dating foreign men, the reasons and intentions are good.

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This is part 2 of our guide to scammers and Russian mail brides.

Type 3. The Long Con

This type of scam I’m not even certain actually exists today (I know of no recent confirmed cases). But it may exist and I guess has existed in other contexts for time immemorial so its worth having a quick look.

This scam involves a woman feigning interest in a man for enough time, and with enough conviction, so that she eventually gains a western passport and/or half the mans money.

My own view on this is that it ‘takes two to tango’. That for it to work there has to be a man whose character at the time in some way allows for it to happen. I say that if somebodies character is like this, that type of victimization can just as easily happen with the woman next door.

There is a lot of wealth in Russia today and there is no great reason for a woman skillful and dedicated enough to pull off such a thing to turn her attention outside Russia.

I could go into a lot of pondering here (using a lot of cod-pschology) into whether this scam exists all the time -  its just the participants refuse to admit it to themselves that it is a scam.

Do ‘relationships of convenience occur’? Yes, but that is very different to a deliberate scam.

Instead lets keep it short.

With one or two exceptions, every woman I met was completely genuine.

So basically in my opinion
- The chances of this Long Con happening are
(a) Incredibly small
(b) About the same as whether you are looking for a wife in Russia or looking in the next street. So finding a Russian mail bride is just as risky as any other relationship.

Conclusion

If you use a little bit of common sense, you have nothing to worry about when it comes to scammers. The vast majority of Russian women are genuine and if you use quality websites, you should have nothing to worry about.

In my own experience I only ever encountered one Type 1 (very easy to spot), one Type 2 (I lost about $20 and was foolish) and nothing would surprise me more were I to find myself in a Type 3

So my advice is don’t worry. You’ll be fine. Do it. Finding a Russian mail bride that is perfect for you is pretty much the best thing you can do.

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Basically, when it comes to Russian order brides you don’t have to worry about scammers too much. They are pretty easy to spot and all you have to do is be aware they are there. Generally, I’d say about 1% of women you come into contact with are scammers. Much less if you only use the best and reputable websites.

Anyway, there are 3 basic types of scams.

Type 1. The Big Score

This type you probably know. It involves an incredibly gorgeous woman becoming interested in you. At some point (usually within weeks), the woman will develop a ‘crisis’ (such as work problem, housing problem, or a sick relative) and needs you to urgently send her a large amount of cash.

Once the cash is sent, she disappears from your life. The pictures used were almost certainly not of her at all, and it was somebody else writing the letters.

Things that should arise your suspicion.

• She is stunningly gorgeous and glamorous.
• She asks for money (well duh). Genuine Russian women are very much aware they can be seen as scammers and will be very keen to show you they are not after your money.
• She falls head over heels in love with you extremely quickly
• Her letters don’t show a real interest in you. Her words just don’t show a genuine interest in your life and who you are. The words seem generic and not tailored for you.

No single one of these need necessarily be deal breakers. Impossibly gorgeous women are out there and people do have financial problems. If she asks for money, look to see if any of the others are there. If they are, you’ve probably got a scammer.

Type 2. Death By a Thousand Cuts

These scams are perpetuated by agencies based in Russia and can be found in the ‘pay-per-letter’ sites.

How these sites work is your letter goes via the site to an agency near where the girl is located. It is translated, she reads it then writes back and her reply is translated back to English. You pay for every translation (i.e. every letter sent and received). The website and the local agency split the money you pay.

Most of the agencies are fine, but some post fake profiles or keep profiles active long after the girl is no longer interested in meeting men. The agency will then pretend to be the girl in the profile, so they can get more of your money.

This type is a little harder to spot than the first. It can take a few letters to ascertain the woman has no interest in you. Given that (a) It can only happen on certain websites and (b) The most you’ll lose is probably around $20-$30. You’ll spend a similar amount anyway on a lot of girls in those types of websites as interest peters out naturally in any case.

So not a huge concern, but it exists can can suck a little of your precious time, money and emotion. Finding your dream Russian order bride can be the best thing you ever do, but you still don’t want to waste time or money.

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Part 3 of our guide to Russia woman dating

Type 3 - Pay Per Introduction

There is a quite a bit of variety in this model. Usually the databases of girls are quite small, and each introduction relatively expensive.

What you generally get for your money is a lot more care and attention from the agency running the site. They take some time doing old-fashioned matchmaking between you and the girls. Whether old-fashioned matchmaking works or not I will leave to you to decide, but I must admit I have my doubts (if you work for one of these sites please email us and let us know why it works, we are keen to know)

So this is what you are paying for - more time and attention from the agency.

Often these sites just focus on one city or region in Russia or Ukraine. As a consequence, they are able to offer a special service where you visit the city for a week. Beforehand you will have selected several women you would like to meet when you get there.
This is a great alternative to the Russian women Tours that are available. It is a lot more customised and natural.
It is also a great alternative to meeting women online only. Lets face it, spending a lot of time with a woman before meeting her in person is a gamble. You just might not fancy each other when you meet.

Full disclosure. I can’t really comment too much on the effectiveness of these ‘Type 3′ sites, I’ve never used one for Russia woman dating.

Pros:

• Attention. Girls bona fides are checked. Often they will be interviewed.
• Care. A human being at the company should be available to give you some of their time to help you out.
• Competition. Not much of it from other men.

Cons:

• Price. Relatively expensive
• Numbers. Not as many girls to choose from.

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Part 2 of our guide to Russian women dating sites.

Type 2 - Pay Per Letter

In this type usually you can have full access to the database of girls on the website for free. Where they make their money is by charging you a fee for every individual letter - both sent and received. Things like email addresses and phone numbers will usually be edited out of your letters.

Your letter goes via the site to an agency near where the girl is located. It is translated, she writes back and her reply is translated back to English.

Advantages

• The first advantage of these sites is you usually get free full access to the database without having to pay anything. That means you can browse a lot of girls for free.
• The second is every letter you write will be answered fully.
• The third is everything gets translated properly.
• The fourth. Not too much competition.

The disadvatages?
There are many.

• The first and most obvious is the price. Things get very expensive very quickly.
• The next is the barriers between you. Always the agency in the middle. You can’t sms her, IM her, call her or email her. A massive pain. Slow also.
• The next is there can be a bit of doubt as to whether the girl is really into you. The agencies get paid per letter. So they make sure every letter of yours is answered in some kind of positive fashion.
• Also scammers. Some agencies are scammers who post fake or outdated photos and then pretend to be the girl in order to get your money. Often this will take a letter or two to spot.

So to summarize type 2 ‘Pay per letter’ of our Russian women dating sites guide

Pros

• English. Built in translation for you to communcate with those ultra-hotties with no English
• ALA. All letters answered.

Cons

• Money. Expensive.
• Speed. Translation is pretty quick but it still takes a few days for a letter exchange which is an eternity in the days of the internet.
• Barriers. Romacing a girl and not having her number or email just seems wrong.
• Scammers. Not much danger, but it is there.

Examples

www.anastasiaweb.com

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This is part 1 of our 3 part guide to websites where you can find and begin dating a Russian woman.

Type 1 - Fixed cost

This type of Russia Dating Site is pretty simple really. You pay a fixed fee every month and in return get unlimited contact with all the girls in their database. Once you’ve paid your money, there should be no restrictions of photos, emails and swapping of addresses and phone numbers.

Word of warning. The biggest and most popular site using this method - ElenasModels - does have a restriction on this. They have a two-tier pricing structure. The cheaper pricing gives you access to about 95% of the women - the exclusions being recent additions who are only available to those choosing the more expensive option.

The basic problem with this type of site is every other guy on the site is also contacting a lot of girls. So you have a lot of competition.
For example I found my fiance the first week she joined the site that we met on. She said she chose me from a couple of hundred who contacted her.

Now don’t worry too much about the competition. It is a factor, but one thing is for sure and that is you will have a lot more (and better looking) women interested in you than in an equivalent site in your home country.

How much competition? That varies according to a few factors :
(a) Looks (b) Age (c) Kids (d) English level
So a hot 21 yo with no kids and fluent English will get the most attention from guys. Attention varies a lot with English level. Dating a Russian woman without enough English to read/write/talk with you is a real pain.

Pros :

• Numbers. You get to contact a lot of girls.
• Price. This is fixed. Though sometimes you can ‘upgrade’ your membership

Cons :

• Competition. The girls get contacted by a lot of guys.
• Competition. A lot of girls don’t reply to your letters.
• English level. You have to organise your own translation if needed

Examples

www.elenasmodels.com
www.loversplanet.com

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