Whatever you think about Russia, unless you’ve been there, you’re probably wrong. And that goes doubly so for Russian Brides.

Myth #1. Mail Order Russian Brides.

Mail order Russian Brides don’t exist - full stop. The notion that you can somehow browse a catalogue a choose a wife who will then arrive at your door a few weeks later is just absurd. Finding your partner in Russia is largely the same as any other kind of courtship. Sure there are differences. But respect, romance and love must be there like any other true relationship.

Myth #2. Russian women will do anything for a western passport so they can leave Russia

Are Russian women attracted to the idea of living in another country (especially a warm country)? Yes. Does this mean that they want to lie about themselves and fake a romance to do so? No.

Like any other country, Russian women love and are proud of their country and their culture. Given a choice they would prefer to marry a Russian man. But there is a shortage of single men in Russia. Russian women are looking for love, first and foremost and will find it how they can. Just like anyone else.

Myth #3. Russian women just want to scam foreign men and get their money.

Do Russian scammers exist? Yes. Are they easy to spot? Yes. Do you need to worry about them? As long as you are sensible - no.

Use a good, reputable dating site and there will almost definitely be no scammers. Use one of the other sites then apply the old saying ‘if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is’. So in the unlikely event a woman who looks like a supermodel proposes marriage within a couple of weeks, use your better judgement.

Myth #4. The men on Russian dating sites are all losers who can’t get a woman otherwise.

A lot of people may want to believe this one, but it just isn’t the case either. There are many different reasons why western men are attracted to and are seeking a partner from Russia. Certainly there are differences in Russian culture that make Russia women more attractive to some Western men. As there are differences in Western culture that make Western women more attractive to Russian men.

Today we live in an era of gloabisation. People use the Internet to find their niche wherever it is. Finding your partner in Russia is just another opportunity, another way of doing it. Finding your partner on the internet is normal now.

Myth #5. It is difficult and expensive to find your partner in Russia.

Is there a bit more cost and difficulty involved? Yes. Does this need this stop you? No.

Choosing a partner is the most important decision and act you can make - and the thing that can bring you the most joy and satisfaction in life. Considering this, do you really want to let this little bit stop you from finding your true love?

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As a broad generalisation, a typical Russia woman tends to be a lot more traditional than western women in terms of gender roles in the family. i.e. She will expect you to do most or all of the breadwinning and will herself do most or all of the homemaking.

This doesn’t mean for a moment that a Russia woman are meek or expect not to have a career. Like in any country, some women are meek, some not. It is also normal for Russian women to have a career.

One thing that annoys me is when people assume that having more traditional gender roles means Russian women are somehow victims or unenlightened, That if only they could be shown the feminist way they wouldn’t have to put up with it any longer. Try telling that to a Russian woman and you’ll be either scorned or mocked out of the room.

Remember Russian women have for decades been way ahead of the west in a lot of  aspects of feminism. For example the proportion of women to men in fields like medicine and engineering has been (and still is) far higher than in the west. So in many ways equality between men and women is more enshrined in Russia than in the west.

Also as part of my job I visit a lot of different companies here in Russia. In my experience the proportion of women to men in technical and senior roles is far higher than in the west, and far, far higher than in Japan.

Cosmonaut Nadezhda Kuzhelnaya

However a strong part of Russian culture and identity is that men and women are different, and that for a family to be successful there are masculine and feminine roles to play. Russian women are very feminine - more so I think than in the west, and don’t feel they need to prove they are ‘equal’ to men. They know they are already equal - and different.

Be prepared. If your Russian girl is 24 you may think she will be happy to wait a few years before having children. Chances are however she’ll already consider herself past the time when she should have become a wife and mother.

Motherhood and family is incredibly important to any Russia woman, and to be a bride then a  mother at a younger age than is normal in the west.

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When it comes to Russian women dating, the stereotype is all Russian women are scammers and only want to be dating foreign men for their money?

So goes the generalisation about why Russian women want to be dating foreigners. Obviously this is false. There are so many thousands of success stories that so overwhelm the bad stories. So what motivates a Russian woman to find a man in another country?

The big myth is Russia women are all scammers out to get your money, or that they live a life of abject poverty and are desperate to get out. This isn’t it. In a nutshell, there is a shortage of good quality men in Russia.

Lets have a bit of a closer look.

(a) Demographics. There is a gender imbalance in Russia meaning there are more women than men. Why? I’m not too sure of all the reasons, but Russian men have a comparatively low life expectancy which has at least something to do with it.

(b) Quality. A lot of Russian men take advantage of this gender imbalance to act like dicks. They can get away with acting badly as it is essentially a ’sellers market’ for men. This creates an even smaller pool of available and desirable men.

(c) Stability. Russia has a long history of instability, so stability is very attractive. Thus a decently paid, steady job is very attractive.

What there is a shortage of is intelligent, kind, honest men with good jobs. This doesn’t mean there aren’t any good quality men in Russia. On the contrary, there are of course millions and millions. There just aren’t quite enough of them.

Don’t be mistaken however. Your country (especially a warm climate) and income are attractive to Russian women, and hypergamy (the practice of selecting a spouse of higher socio-economic status than oneself) is prevalent everywhere in the world.

So these are factors. But in themselves they wouldn’t be enough for such large numbers of Russian women to be eager for a foreign husband. It is the reasons above which tip them over into wanting a foreign husband.

There are some scammers - maybe 1%. But they are very easy to spot so aren’t a big concern.

For the great majority of Russian women interested in dating foreign men, the reasons and intentions are good.

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Part 3 of our guide to Russia woman dating

Type 3 - Pay Per Introduction

There is a quite a bit of variety in this model. Usually the databases of girls are quite small, and each introduction relatively expensive.

What you generally get for your money is a lot more care and attention from the agency running the site. They take some time doing old-fashioned matchmaking between you and the girls. Whether old-fashioned matchmaking works or not I will leave to you to decide, but I must admit I have my doubts (if you work for one of these sites please email us and let us know why it works, we are keen to know)

So this is what you are paying for - more time and attention from the agency.

Often these sites just focus on one city or region in Russia or Ukraine. As a consequence, they are able to offer a special service where you visit the city for a week. Beforehand you will have selected several women you would like to meet when you get there.
This is a great alternative to the Russian women Tours that are available. It is a lot more customised and natural.
It is also a great alternative to meeting women online only. Lets face it, spending a lot of time with a woman before meeting her in person is a gamble. You just might not fancy each other when you meet.

Full disclosure. I can’t really comment too much on the effectiveness of these ‘Type 3′ sites, I’ve never used one for Russia woman dating.

Pros:

• Attention. Girls bona fides are checked. Often they will be interviewed.
• Care. A human being at the company should be available to give you some of their time to help you out.
• Competition. Not much of it from other men.

Cons:

• Price. Relatively expensive
• Numbers. Not as many girls to choose from.

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As you no doubt already know, there are a lot of Russia dating services out there. Basically, they fall into three rough categories as follows :

Type 1) Fixed cost.

This is where you pay a monthly fee for unlimited (well, however many girls there are on the site) contacts and emails. Often you can browse their database of girls for free without joining but in a limited way. i.e. Just one photo or smaller photos
Main advantage - Unlimited contacts
Main disadvantage - More competition from other guys

Type 2) Pay per letter.

Usually you can have full access to the database of girls for free. Where they make their money is by charging you a fee for every individual letter - both sent and received. Things like email addresses and phone numbers will usually be edited out of your letters.
Main advantage - Full free database access
Main disadvantage - Costs can skyrocket if you want to contact a girl a lot

Type 3) Pay per introduction.

The database of girls is free, but you pay an amount for the contact details of every one you are interested in. Usually once you have paid for the contact details you won’t have to pay anything else.
Main advantage - Full free database access
Main disadvantage - Smaller number of girls to choose from.

I strongly prefer the first kind. As I’ve said elsewhere on this blog, dating is a numbers game. Russia dating is no different. You want to be able to have as much contact as you want and know what you are spending. When you meet a girl you like you are going to want to contact her a lot, and having to pay every time you do is insane.

Saying that I have used some ‘pay as you go’ Russia Dating Services and these can have benefits the other sites don’t. You may even want to mix’n match a couple of different sites as part of your dating strategy.

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