Myth #1. Mail Order Russian Brides.

Mail order Russian Brides don’t exist – full stop. The notion that you can somehow browse a catalogue a choose a wife who will then arrive at your door a few weeks later is just absurd. Finding your partner in Russia is largely the same as any other kind of courtship. Sure there are differences. But respect, romance and love must be there like any other true relationship.

Myth #2. Russian women will do anything for a western passport so they can leave Russia

Are Russian women attracted to the idea of living in another country (especially a warm country)? Yes. Does this mean that they want to lie about themselves and fake a romance to do so? No.

Like any other country, Russian women love and are proud of their country and their culture. Given a choice they would prefer to marry a Russian man. But there is a shortage of single men in Russia. Russian women are looking for love, first and foremost and will find it how they can. Just like anyone else.

Myth #3. Russian women just want to scam foreign men and get their money.

Do Russian scammers exist? Yes. Are they easy to spot? Yes. Do you need to worry about them? As long as you are sensible – no.

Use a good, reputable dating site and there will almost definitely be no scammers. Use one of the other sites then apply the old saying ‘if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is’. So in the unlikely event a woman who looks like a supermodel proposes marriage within a couple of weeks, use your better judgement.

Myth #4. The men on Russian dating sites are all losers who can’t get a woman otherwise.

A lot of people may want to believe this one, but it just isn’t the case either. There are many different reasons why western men are attracted to and are seeking a partner from Russia. Certainly there are differences in Russian culture that make Russia women more attractive to some Western men. As there are differences in Western culture that make Western women more attractive to Russian men.

Today we live in an era of gloabisation. People use the Internet to find their niche wherever it is. Finding your partner in Russia is just another opportunity, another way of doing it. Finding your partner on the internet is normal now.

Myth #5. It is difficult and expensive to find your partner in Russia.

Is there a bit more cost and difficulty involved? Yes. Does this need this stop you? No.

Choosing a partner is the most important decision and act you can make – and the thing that can bring you the most joy and satisfaction in life. Considering this, do you really want to let this little bit stop you from finding your true love?

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So here is the lowdown so you can know what is going on.

How do I know? I am a guy who has been there and done it. I’ve been scammed and know exactly how to spot and avoid the russian bride scams.

The good news? It’s easy.

Russian Bride Scam Truth

The truth is Russian bride scammers do exist. And yes there are a lot of them. A LOT of them aren’t even women, but men pretending to be women online in order to coax money out of the lovelorn.

The way you spot them is this:

Just wait a while. Pretty soon after being in contact they’ll ask for money. This is the big neon warning sign. Run. Usually there is a big sob story attached. Again. RUN

Russian Bride Scam Lies

The lies are that all or most Russian women are scammers. How so very far from the truth. The truth is most of them are in fact if anything a lot more moral and upright than their western counterparts. I’ve got to know a lot of Russian women, through dating and as friends. In general I’d say they are more honest and friendly than Western women.

The moral here is to relax and trust yourself and your judgement. You’ll be able to spot the scammers, and you’ll find a genuine sweetheart. Go for it .

Within its borders it of course has hundreds of small micro-cultures, but at the same time it contains a surprisingly cohesive and similar Russian culture.

There are however some very broad distinctions about Russians that I think are very useful for a foreigner to know before visiting or getting to know or dating any Russians.They can be very useful in getting a rough idea of a persons background and beliefs.

These distinctions have been told to me numerous times by Russians, and my own experience certainly backs their existence.

1. The Moscow and St Petersburg Russia

“Moscow isn’t Russia”. People have told me this many times, and it is certainly true. Broadly speaking, Moscow and St Petersburg are cities that are comparable to those in Europe – they are fundamentally similar. A lot of the time Moscow feels to me like being in Berlin.

2. The rest of Russia. The real Russia.

90% of Russians live in other cities, towns and villages and in these you couldn’t really mistake yourself for being in Europe.

3. Soviet Russians

Those born in Russia before or around 1970 have a fundamentally different view of life and of Russia. Growing up in the Soviet era, how could they not?

4. Post-soviet Russians

Those Russians 35 and under are a curious bunch. Comfortably modern and confident, they have an intriguing mix of optimism for the future and old-fashioned Soviet pessimism. With infinitely more opportunity, they expect so much more from life than their parents did yet are reluctant to plan to far ahead, Russias traditional instability ever at the back of their minds.
Nonetheless I expect this generation of young Russians making a big mark on the world this century.

My soon to be mother in law explained to me once ‘Perostroika was a very bad thing. Before it I was an engineer, now I work as a cleaner.’ Fair point, you have to say. My fiance added though ‘Our parents all think like that, us young people see things differently and for us it was a good thing’.

This doesn’t mean for a moment that a Russia woman are meek or expect not to have a career. Like in any country, some women are meek, some not. It is also normal for Russian women to have a career.

One thing that annoys me is when people assume that having more traditional gender roles means Russian women are somehow victims or unenlightened, That if only they could be shown the feminist way they wouldn’t have to put up with it any longer. Try telling that to a Russian woman and you’ll be either scorned or mocked out of the room.

Remember Russian women have for decades been way ahead of the west in a lot of  aspects of feminism. For example the proportion of women to men in fields like medicine and engineering has been (and still is) far higher than in the west. So in many ways equality between men and women is more enshrined in Russia than in the west.

Also as part of my job I visit a lot of different companies here in Russia. In my experience the proportion of women to men in technical and senior roles is far higher than in the west, and far, far higher than in Japan.

Cosmonaut Nadezhda Kuzhelnaya

However a strong part of Russian culture and identity is that men and women are different, and that for a family to be successful there are masculine and feminine roles to play. Russian women are very feminine – more so I think than in the west, and don’t feel they need to prove they are ‘equal’ to men. They know they are already equal – and different.

Be prepared. If your Russian girl is 24 you may think she will be happy to wait a few years before having children. Chances are however she’ll already consider herself past the time when she should have become a wife and mother.

Motherhood and family is incredibly important to any Russia woman, and to be a bride then a  mother at a younger age than is normal in the west.

Where I live in Moscow there are apartment buildings stretching for miles around. When the match finished everyone started cheering like crazy, and the noise went on for hours. Amazing. This short video will give you a taste.

Below is one of the chalets at a retreat 200km from Moscow we stayed in last weekend.

Was on holiday in Ukraine a few weeks ago. Took a cable car to the top of a mountain. One of the attractions allowed you to get your photo taken in a Nazi or Red Army uniform in this car. Completely bizarre and more than a little disturbing.

Saw this a few weeks ago. It just looks so Fallout, I love it.

View from our apartment. Windows very dirty and the scene looks grimmer than it actually is. Lots of shiny shopping centres and interesting restaurants nearby.